2711. "Screw Clinton or he will screw you first," Hillary Clinton.
1318. A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly
The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her
hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning.
Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you
The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandma?
Is that you?"
1946. Someone is knocking on the door. John opens up and sees a scary looking
man with a gun in his hand:
"I'm the lady-killer from Boston!"
John turns around and calmly shouts:
"Hon, it's for you."