598. Three older ladies were discussing the trials of getting older.
One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in
my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether
I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the
landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way
up or on my way down."
The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that
problem-knock on wood." She raps her knuckles on the table,
then remarks, "that must be the door, I'll get it."
2919. "The chief danger in life is that you may take too
3152. A fire fighter was working on the engine outside the
station when he noticed a little boy next door in a
little red wagon with little ladders hung on the side.
The boy was wearing a firefighter's helmet and had the
wagon tied to a dog and a cat.
The firefighter said, "Hey little partner, what are
The little boy said, "I'm pretending to be a fireman
and this is my fire truck.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck" he said with
"Thanks mister" the boy said.
The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed
that the boy had tied the wagon to the dog's collar
and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't
want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you
were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I
think you could go faster."
"You're probably right, mister" the boy said,
"but then I wouldn't have a siren"